Sub-Journey

So I've never really publicized this little journey of my life, but if you've known we for more than five years or simply know me well, then you know that I used to be profoundly obese...after two years of teaching I found myself over 230 pounds. I was never a skinny kid, I was always larger than my friends, therefore I have always thought of myself as fat. Just the way that works. Despite always being bigger than others, I was athletic...basketball, field hockey, shot putter and hammer thrower...I just didn't watch what I ate. The pounds krept on through high school and college due to zero portion control, late night Amigos runs (no regrets though, they were good times), regular Mountain Dew intake, and then finally the consumption of adult beverages played a role, I'm sure, in the poundage increase.

I finally decided to do something about it in the summer of 2003 when I was home and saw my parents using the Weight Watchers system. I decided to try it...couldn't hurt...and I found that it worked! I slowly began to see the pounds go away and it was wonderful! I set an intial goal of about sixty pounds, which would put me at the weight I had written down on my drivers liscense id. It took about two years for me to reach that goal and the journey was great. I had people telling me how wonderful I looked, and I felt great...I even moved from a walker to a jogger and pilates devotee. It was amazing! I was shopping in the normal misses section! I decided to go for 25 more, which would get me to the healthy BMI range that doctors tout to patients who listen. I also decided to train for a half-marathon. It was great! As I trained, the weight came off slower because I had to consume more to make up for all the calories I was burning. But I did get to a pound and a half away from my goal. And then I moved...

I moved, I ran the half-marathon, and I suddenly began to socialize more. Not that I was never social before, but just not to this extent and well, some pounds krept back on...and then I maintained that for over a year...with some yo-yoing...

And then I just got really mad and disappointed in myself. You see, I suddenly had experienced an enormous amount of success and then I felt as though I had lost it all. It was horrible. The success in weight loss had led me to try different things and believe I could be successful in all areas of my life. I began to expect that success in all things. Not that I was ever really unsuccessful before, but I tended to not do my absolute best so that way I wouldn't be disappointed...except that I would be disappointed and mad at myself anyways. I digress...the pounds increase got me down and it took about a year for me to truly understand that I've always had high expectations of myself, but the weight loss had actually helped me realize all of that. I never thought of myself as driven, but apparently I am and I have always been this way...I had no clue until a year or so ago.

So, jump to now. There's been more of an increase and it's time for it stop. I have a closet full of cute clothes and I can't wear a lot of them. And I just refuse to buy a size up and spend more money...I've already spent money. Losing weight again is more cost-effective. So, I've rejoined Weight Watchers online and in two weeks I lost five pounds...it's a start.

I'm approaching this a little differently than last time...I don't want to let myself get too caught up in the success of it all again because if there is a week that's not as successful I don't want to beat myself up. I'm still going to socialize, but I need to be better about my choices and more aware of what I'm putting in my body again. I want to get stronger, not just skinnier. I want to feel good, but not let my self-worth rely on this one part of my life. It's far from the only thing in my life.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. I keep a picture of myself the summer before I first began this sub-journey of my life to remind me of what I don't want to return to and also to remind me of how far I have come in five years.


With my good friend Paul at Erin and Brian's wedding--great wedding, but hard to look at sometimes.
With Erin at a bridal shower for Anna--I felt so good!
With the girls at Rachel's wedding. I loved that dress!

Easter Projects

Well, a relaxing spring break ended with a joyous Easter weekend with my parents. We celebrated Christ's resurrection at a Sunrise service and enjoyed a breakfast prepared by the youth of St. Mark's. From there we went back and continued watching LOTS of NCAA basketball and working on a project that is near and dear to my heart...

We organized pictures! I'm a big believer in visually recording history. It's why I'm intent on putting all of my pictures in albums--so that future generations will be able to learn about their crazy Aunt Kari and all of her crazy friends. :) When I was little I would regularly pour over the albums my mom did have finished. However she really only had them finished through 1983...and the rest of the pictures were in boxes...but not boxes that are truly photo safe. A couple of years ago a bought mom a Power Sort box from Creative Memories. Last spring we bought her another one because we knew she would need it. Alas, it had been empty...until this weekend.

Photos were safely stored through 1983--we had taken them out of the awful magnetic photo albums and put them in the Power Sort box--so, beginning with 1984 we began to sort...and sort...and sort...I would sort them by month and year on the floor and then mom would take them and double-check them to be sure they were right and then put them into the box. We got through 1999! They are all safely stored in the two Power Sort boxes--which hold roughly 2,400 photos.


What about the this century you ask? Mom needs a third Power Sort box and then we'll tackle them. For now though, she can actually find pictures and maybe even start thinking about what kinds of albums she wants to put together, which seemed far too overwhelming when we didn't even know what we had and where it was stored.

It was a wonderfully relaxing weekend and now I'm back, ready to go to the dentist and see if it was a filling that came out of mouth at lunch or part of my tooth. The fun never stops!

Marriage Predictions

I predict that Ian Furgeson will marry Ali Maschke and Aidan Furgeson will marry Micaiah West! :) The ages are just about right!

Congrats to Jon and Alice!! Aidan looks like a perfect gentleman already!

Blessings!

Had a bad day...

I had a crummy day yesterday. It started with a good run, but went downhill for awhile, went uphill, and then had a stellar ending! I cried in first period, not in front of my students, and it was a combination of several things, which I'm not going to share for fear of it being read by random students. So anyways, the day did get better, but I was kinda of on edge for the rest of it, but I tried to make a joke out of it and my faculty was fantastic in helping me with that. The Spanish class I subbed for did a great job of making me laugh, so really, it wasn't so bad. Then I went home, ate, went to Bible study, and thought all would be well after I swung by the bank and deposited some cash. But no...

My back tail light is still out due to lack of time to get it fixed. I exited and crossed three lanes to turn into my bank. A cop on a bike did the same thing, only ALL of his lights were working! So I got lectured about how I need to get it fixed, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile I'm praying he doesn't give me a ticket to add to my parking ticket from the night before at grad class and that he doesn't get suspicious of the wine bottle in my back seat...no worries please, I barely had any at Bible study, so my levels were fine, but it would still just add to the issue. He left me with a, "Have a good night and get that fixed." No ticket, no official warning, I was spared.

Despite being spared, I cried the whole time I deposited my money and drove home. I was just a little overwhelmed by everything and really, I am just tired. February wore me out and it's time for some TLC. I just wanted to go home, put in The Lion King and curl up on the couch. The Lion King will have to wait till tomorrow night, but I did get some sleep, but more is needed to really help get me back on track.

So, today is going to be a GREAT day and that's just all there is to it.

For those intrigued by mango cutters...

http://www.organize-it-online.com/itm_mangoslicer.html

Mangos and More

I have officially decided that the mango is my favorite fruit of all time! I cut up two of them tonight and I could have eaten both easily, but I refrained and put some in the freezer to enjoy later. It's so sweet it can be a dessert on it's own or is wonderful with some plain yogurt. I knew I loved mango salsa and smoothies and I'd eaten the fruit on it's own once or twice before, but tonight it just resonated with me how much I love it! If you have not eaten a mango before, I urge you to get out of your box and try one soon! It is divine!

My weekend was part whirlwind, part relaxation. Friday night was a wedding in Austin. My friends who got engaged at the last NIKE marathon were the lovely bride and groom this time around. It was a little different than most weddings I have attended because it was non-denominational in terms of the service, but it was still lovely to see them vow to love each other through sickness and in health. The party afterwards was fabulous and included a candy bar and lots of other goodies. It ended with all of the TNT friends and others, including the bride and groom, down on sixth street for some more merriment. No worries, I behaved myself. :)

I got back to SA Saturday afternoon where I slept for an hour and a half, ran and then watched Michael Clayton and worked on my 2008 album and a little on my 2007 album. I also cooked, which doesn't feel like it has happened in awhile. I enjoyed just being here for once.

I realized that I haven't spent an entire weekend in SA since the end of January. I've either been gone partial weekends or whole weekends for the last six weeks! I will say that while I'm tired and cannot wait to be here all of next weekend, every event was worth the trip so I can't complain too much.

Being gone has also meant not attending my own church, which has left me a little starved spiritually. I've been attending Bible study most weeks, but not attending church regularly still wears on me, which is probably a good thing. I wouldn't want to get used to it. I attended this morning and it felt great to be there again. Brunch afterwards with friends also helped me feel as though life is "normal" again. My normal is always very busy, but February proved a little excessive, even for me.

This week isn't too exciting. I will post some wedding pics soon, but for now I will simply leave you with THE MANGO.

Micaiah West

There is nothing more joyous than watching a baby join God's family through baptism. Micaiah West was baptized by her father on Sunday and it was so wonderful to watch--through the tears in my eyes.

It was a short, but great weekend with the Berkbiglers and the Wests. Paul and Cory stayed with me at my parent's house, despite the fact that Ashley Furniture neglected to deliver a bed for them. On a quick sidenote, it really takes a LOT to get my dad mad and he was ANGRY about that situation. But all was fine with the lovely invention of air mattresses. We really spent most of our time with Erin, Brian, Micaiah and their families. I loved catching up with Paul, Phylis, and Nora Witbrodt and getting to know Doug and Teri West a bit better.

Micaiah is amazing! She is just precious, there is no other way to describe her. Which sounds cliche, but I don't care. I don't want to take anything away from Brian and Erin's post so I will leave it there and just let you see pictures.

I drove back to SA this morning...on a spare tire since one of mine split while sitting in front of Erin and Brian's house. There is nothing more humbling than driving over 150 miles at 55 mph. I have a lead foot so it was a lesson in patience and thankfulness for cruise control.


Can't...go...faster...